I have reached too many junctions
Disoriented now at the crossroad of 50 years old
Couldn't pick this one out so I forgot to turn
It fled past like a child who bowls you over
With its energy and total unconcern

There is too little pavement now on Route 66
For me to return to a place I have never been
The last section of 100 miles beckons beyond
The well known stretch of desert I once explored
Within the precious innocence of a marriage now no more

I have traveled too many roadways
In my mind where dreams roam loose
And facts play looser it's the creation that counts
Certainly not my memory something I can' t count on
It's not old age just a wish to leave blank each unfolding page

For the book is already filled with small moments lovingly preserved
Multiple footprints on many paths intertwined with metaphor
A joining of stars and the sunrise, of selfishness with an open heart
Of the dread of loss with the trust and simplicity of childhood
Of the fullness of feeling with the courage to honor it and let it be.

Along the highway I can see looking back in my mirror
The forms of friends who have fallen away and been left behind
Who no longer recognized the substance of what I have become
Like captive trees exposed to too much salt their hearts withered and browned
No longer could sense the rising of sap and coursing of rain down their bark

My body tells a story and maps the pathway of tender fingers
And even more tender moments pretending we were free to play
A game we could not win and weren't supposed to
Times we spent hidden even from ourselves
Places we went that knew a real kiss when it felt one

But at the heart of things my spirit waits anticipating a joining there
A time when Holly will lay by and trust I am loved at last
When even her sweet and spunky little spirit may depart in peace
Where there will be a joining of hands at the crossroads...
Even if it takes another 50 years...even if we both miss the turn...

Louise Dery-Wells on my birthday March 30 2001

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Louise Dery-Wells

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